Self Confidence, Self Safety, Heart

Through the years, I’ve heard people say to others that they’just need to love themselves’, or words to that effect. Along with this, I’ve come across numerous posts online where the identical thing has been said.
Self-love is then presented as something that someone can experience by simply loving themselves. With the same simplicity that someone might wear a jacket, then, they’re also able to love themselves with the same ease.
Back To Reality
What’s only too clear, though, is that if undergoing self-love was this easy, it would not be a challenge for so many men and women. If it was, someone in this position would simply need to realize that they don’t love themselves and then to just love themselves.
The simple fact is that in plenty of instances, experiencing self-love is not something that simply just happens. Someone can’t, typically, just decide to enjoy themselves and everything will change.
Short-Term Solution
The concept that somebody can love themselves, instantly, is probably coming from the view that this is something which can happen through force. This can be seen as a very masculine approach.
When this approach is taken, what someone can do in order to love themselves is to wind up adding things to their mind.
If this strategy does work in the beginning, they might soon find that it isn’t long before it begins to wear off. Additionally, they could even go from one extreme to another, having an inflated sense of themselves.
Since they will have covered up the way they really feel thanks to a coating of positive messages, the love they do have for themselves is not going to be built on firm foundations. This approach, then, isn’t likely to let them develop greater self-knowledge.
Another Option
The alternative would be for them to bear in mind that they are worthy and enough, for example, while working through why they are not able to realize this at an emotional level. This is not a time when they will be attempting to change how they feel by force; they’ll be surrendering to what’s occurring within them.
There is a strong probability that the reason they are unable to love themselves is because of the layers of trauma that they are carrying. As they work through these layers, it might just be a matter of time until it’s normal for them to experience positive feelings.
The Main Component
Perhaps the most important thing that that prevents someone from being able to encounter self-improvement is pity. This is something which may make it more or less impossible for them to experience positive feelings, and, even if they could, it may be challenging for them to sustain them.
If someone is loaded up with pity, often described as toxic shame, it can demonstrate that they experienced some sort of abuse and/or fail as a child. Furthermore, their birth and their time in the uterus may have also played a part in how they feel about themselves as an adult.
A Gradual Approach
Working through this pain is, naturally, not going to happen overnight. But, because of how miserable life can be without being able to experience self indulgent, it’s undoubtedly worth the wait.
This is a process which may take place with the aid of a therapist or a healer. Someone like this will provide the presence and the advice that is required to work through these layers of trauma.
Teacher, prolific writer, author, and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner consciousness. With over one thousand nine hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

Love yourself

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